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Adjusting To An Empty Nest

There's a day approaching that many parents hate, although it may not seem like it at present. It is the day when you are left with an empty nest. All of the kids will have grown up and moved out of their childhood home. It seems to you they were mere babies only last week. It leaves you feeling alone and lost. It may feel hard and unbearable, but there is a way to move through this phase of life smoothly.

To begin with, you need to understand that even though your kids are no longer in the same house, your relationship is not over. This change marks the beginning of a new dimension to your relationship. You are switching from the parent/child dynamic to a relationship that is a lot more equal. Your child may still ask you for guidance on some things, but you will be surprised to realize that you are also beginning to consult your kids on major issues. This time around, the relationship is more on an equal footing, since you are both independent adults. It?s a great feeling to know that your child still needs your love and support, just in a different way.

Take some time to look at the bright side. With your children out of the house, you have more time to done on your darling (and occasionally neglected) spouse. When you have children in the house, time alone with your spouse can be rare. Now you can get to know your spouse better on an intimate basis and work toward a better relationship. It's the perfect opportunity to enjoy activities you have always wanted to try, but were never able to do when you had children around. It's a wonderful time to get out there and have some fun with your spouse. You can get spontaneously romantic whenever you wish. You might get some spontaneity and romance back in your relationship when or if your children leave. You can get the same advantages if you are single. You could head on out and meet new people with all the free time you now have on your hands. You just may find love in the process.

Starting a new company or going on a trip across the country are things you can do with children at home, but they are certainly far easier with an empty nest. With your kids away, however, there is nothing stopping you from embarking on your dream.

Though change is often painful, this major life-altering event may herald new experiences for you as you begin to enjoy more time on your hands. You might want to go back to school, implement a workout regimen, or finish that book you've always wanted to write.

Do not be overly anxious for your children. Recognize that you raised them well. You have made them capable individuals and instilled in them the right values.

It is now time to turn the attention back to you. However, it is perfectly fine to proceed slowly in the beginning while you take the time to adjust to this new phase. You will also need some space to get used to the idea of not having to rush back home to attend to your children's needs. Don't rush to fill the inevitable void in your life too quickly. When you begin to adapt and feel less at a loss in your empty nest, feel free to step out and decide what you wish to do with your new-found freedom. Certainly keep in touch with your children every now and then. This will reassure you and help you move on toward the new and exciting life that is awaiting you.